Go Out All Guns Blazing

A friend of mine forwarded an email earlier this afternoon where this guy goes balls out in his “Good-Bye I Quit My Job” email.  I thought it was a joke until he sent me the corporate headshot of its author. Yes, he’s an employee with the company and his picture (as of this afternoon) was posted on the company’s intranet.  Real. Shit.  Although other than winning a crazy lotto jackpot and knowing I’d never again have to work in corporate hell, I don’t think I’d ever send such an email.  But I can’t lie, part of me is kinda jelly.  Some of the shit he said is pure gold.  See for yourself below:




My favorite quotes include:

But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day. “For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. 

It takes a strong man to admit his mistake – it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, “mostly satisfactory.”

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

Thank you sir, you made my afternoon that much brighter.

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